Rating: 5/10
Well, we’ve got another slower-paced episode on our hands. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a step up from last week’s snooze fest (episode 5, I’m looking at you), but Jesus Christ, are we ever going to get this show on the fucking road?
Look, I get it. This is supposed to be a “slow burn.” But at this point, it feels like we’re watching paint dry. Seriously, did we really need another goddamn episode of Daemon’s shenanigans in Harrenhal? Come on, let’s wrap this shit up already! It’s starting to feel like they’re purposefully padding episodes so they can milk more seasons out of this cash cow.
Now, before you think I’m just here to complain, let me say that this episode does have its merits. The writing quality has definitely improved, which is a relief because if you’ve been following my reviews, you know that’s been my biggest gripe with this season. It’s like they finally remembered they’re supposed to be telling a compelling story, not just showing off fancy dragon CGI and makeout sessions.
But here’s the thing that’s really grinding my gears: the overall pacing of season 2. It feels like we’re spinning our wheels faster than Daemon’s mood swings. There are a few scenes here and there that I really liked – for example, the Larys and Aegon scene was pretty damn good – but then you have others that just drag the pacing down so much.
Episode Breakdown
Alright, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what went down this week. Buckle up, because it’s a wild ride … well, as wild as a slow-moving carriage can be.
We start off with our favorite troublemaker, Daemon, who is still hanging out in Harrenhal like it’s some kind of medieval Airbnb. He’s having visions that are part fever dream, part therapy session. We get a flashback to King Viserys (welcome back, Paddy Considine, we missed your balding charm) chewing him out for that tasteless “Heir for a day” joke. Daemon also dreams about comforting Viserys after Aemma’s death.
It’s all very touching, but I can’t help feeling like we’re watching Daemon’s personal growth PowerPoint presentation.
Just when you think Daemon’s going to spend the entire episode napping, we get some actual plot movement. Grover Tully kicks the bucket, and his grandson Oscar becomes Lord Paramount and decides to join Team Daemon after some convenient “help” from Alys.
Meanwhile, over in Team Green land, Aemond is throwing his weight around like he’s the king of the playground. He’s sending people off to battle left and right, including poor Criston Cole, who looks about as excited as a cat at a dog show. Aemond promises to join him with his dragon … eventually.
Sure, buddy. We believe you. Oh, and Alicent gets unceremoniously fired from the small council too.
Now, let’s talk about Rhaenyra and Mysaria’s brilliant plan to win over the smallfolk: send them food on little boats. One thing leads to another, and things get heated when Alicent and Helaena get mobbed by angry peasants. It’s like Black Friday, but instead of discounted TVs, people are grabbing at queens.
Larys, meanwhile, tries to weasel his way into becoming Hand of the King. Aemond calls him a toad (harsh but fair) and sends him off to find Otto (yay!) instead. I guess even Aemond has standards. Speaking of Aemond, we get a touching brotherly moment between Aemond and the crispy remnants of Aegon. And by touching, I mean Aemond basically threatens to finish the job if Aegon doesn’t keep his mouth shut.
Not gonna lie, I kinda feel bad for Aegon.
Larys, not one to be deterred, decides to have a heart-to-heart with Aegon. It’s all very emotional, with both of them crying about their disabilities. I’d be moved if I wasn’t too busy being creeped out by Larys’ ulterior motives.
Now, onto the main event: dragon riding tryouts! Ser Steffon Darklyn gets his shot at the big leagues, attempting to ride Seasmoke. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well. Rhaenyra, not one to take failure lying down, decides to up her fear factor by carrying a sword like a pimp cane. Because nothing says “respect me” like accessorizing with lethal weapons. She also slaps the shit out of Lord Bartimos when he criticizes her leadership. You go, girl! Show ’em who’s boss!
Over at the Eyrie, Rhaena discovers there’s a secret dragon hanging around. It’s like finding out your neighbor’s been hiding a monster truck in their backyard. Lady Arryn’s just like, “Oh yeah, that old thing? Don’t worry about it.”
Corlys decides it’s time for some father-son bonding and sends Alyn off to sea with him. Meanwhile, Addam gets chased down by Seasmoke on the beach. It’s like a dragon version of “The Bachelor,” and Addam just got the final rose.
Finally, we get to the juiciest part of the episode. Rhaenyra and Mysaria have a heart-to-heart that turns into a full-on makeout session.
Yeah I saw that one coming from a mile away. I’m happy for them! But I have one minor gripe with this scene … The lead-up to this involves Mysaria opening up about her father abusing her, getting her pregnant, and leaving her for dead. I don’t know how that sets the tone for the kiss, and it’s a glaring low point in the writing for this episode.
Anyways, as things are getting hot and heavy between the two, they’re interrupted by news of Seasmoke’s new rider. And that’s where we leave off. Rhaenyra flying out of Dragonstone, probably wondering what the hell just happened, and the audience feeling pretty much the same way. Will Rhaenyra confront the new dragon rider? Will Daemon ever leave Harrenhal? Will anything of actual consequence happen next episode? Who knows.
Final Thoughts
Where do I even begin? At this point, I feel like I’ve already said everything that needs to be said about this season. This episode is like that friend who talks a lot but never really says anything. It’s not terrible, but it’s far from fucking great.
Can we talk about the dragon riding scene with Addam? What the actual fuck was that? They could have given us some epic “I’m tired of living in the shadow of my father who won’t accept me, so I’m claiming you bitch” moment, but instead, we get a guy cowering on a rock – Whatever happened to “a dragon won’t accept you if you’re scared”?
Seasmoke took one look at him and said, “That’ll do, hop on.”
Now, keep in mind I haven’t read the books, so I don’t know what’s coming down the road. But here’s the thing: I didn’t know jack shit about what was going to happen in Game of Thrones either, and I still enjoyed the hell out of that ride. Why? Because of good, smart fucking writing (seasons 5-8 are exempt from this).
I feel like we’re glossing over some potentially cool stuff. Public tryouts for dragon riding? That could’ve been badass! Instead, we got a guy getting barbecued. And let’s not forget the elephant in the room: we only get 8 episodes this season. We didn’t wait 2 years for this blue-balled excuse for a season. The last 2 episodes (that’s a quarter of the season) have barely moved the plot forward. It just doesn’t feel great, you know? You shouldn’t have this much filler with only 8 episodes. It’s like ordering a five-course meal and getting served two appetizers and a breath mint.
In the end, this episode is … fine. And that’s the problem. “Fine” doesn’t cut it when you’ve got a budget bigger than The Acolyte and a cast that could act circles around most Hollywood A-listers. It’s like they’re so focused on setting up future seasons that they forgot to make this one entertaining.
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